Ask, Seek, Knock - Me

BROKEN SEVERAL TIMES

2011-05-19T05:09:00.000-07:00

Things have moved very fast since I left CM’s home. I grew a lot and got many new dreams and ambitions…met many new people and made new friends and gave a fresh start to my life. It feels to live and love life and yes sometimes I feel I have fallen in love, fallen in love to live my life again with respect…don’t know whether I should pen put it down in words on not…if I have to write it down then I don’t know from where to start and where to stand and where to finish…I have come a long way.

Still at present things don’t seem to be moving smooth or happy. It hurts and hurts a lot… don’t know whether I have love in my life or not…sometimes I want to question God why he made me so loving when I am not loved…just feels to get back in the womb of the mother and be warm and safe and feel secure, it feels very cold to be alone. It is like standing alone on the peak of a dry rocky mountain under the stars and feels the cold breeze. I don’t like to be like this…shall I jump? It will hurt a lot but I will not feel it because it is very cold and I am very chill.

In the past few days I have been answering many questions on my personal status of my life. In the past few days I have been answering questions raised on my broken marriage and being single. If you don’t answer then draw the line still they keep on digging so much as if they know everything and they will make all things the best for me. Telling all the things again and again neither helps me nor them to have better relationship with them. Why they don’t concentrate in having good relationship with each other. Staying among people who claim to be religious has made me experience and understand what loneliness is. The silence on the dining table of religious people pricks, it hurts, the sound that come from the lips… taunt and kills. I have one broken relationship and I broke it one for all but they under the banner of faith have several broken relationship and they break each moment.

Well I hope we all live each day without breaking anything anymore.

Love
Punita

No Clue

2009-09-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

It been a long time since I sat down to write something... In the past few days many things interested me , but somehow I was so lazy or can say stubborn in not putting down my wrestling thoughts. So many times I thought why why and why? Why God you are not answering my prayers... and it seemed to me as if God is not interested in my 'AMEN'. I wasn't complaining but was just in a fix to understand my 'WHY'?
Anywaz...the sad thing is I never understood and asked myself why I am not able to resits "Uncle Devil"... But the good thing is now I not only understand 'WHY' but also 'WHY' ... I know I am confusing you guys!! but the fact is I am trying to resist Devil by Lord's spirit... and getting cleared with my 'why why why' attitude.
I am not fully recovered but yes I am trying too hard to resist "Uncle D".
I am trying to keep faith with patience... which at my position is very very difficult but very very possible. I need God's spirit, His word and a loving and supporting fellowship.
Lord you know what I need the most and I am sure You are going to provide me with all that I need... JesusPapa its been a long time now.. Please help me to stay obedient and faithful... I am no one to counsel you... what to do or how to do? I surrender myself to you o!! Father... please Help me!!
Lord you know my heart, my thoughts... guide me Father and help me.
I know you are there but I don't uderstand why are you hiding from me...Lord its been long long and long... please father look at me and answer me... you feel the tears in my eyes...You died for me... then why I feel that you are not looking at me... I know Lord my feeling is absolutely wrong...But the fact is I feel so not all the time but at many occasions. Lord I know you are executng your plan for me but why I on't feel so... Father please help me... please help... please help!! AMEN

A Prayer... AMEN

2009-07-10T04:58:00.000-07:00

O! Lord help me to understand who am I?
Help me to understand the chillness you felt when you were born in the stable around the cattles in that cold night.
Help me to understand the difficulties you faced while growing up in a carpenter's home.
Help me undertand the temptation you went through for fourty days and fourty nights when you fasted and prayed.
Help me to understand the anger when you saw your father's house converted into a market place.
Help me Lord to understand the tiredness that you had travelling from one place to another.
Help me to understand when YOU WEPT.
Help me understand the blood in your sweat while praying to the father.
Help me to understand your broken heart, when your disciple betrayed.
Help me to understand the tearing emotion you had when your loved one denied you.
Help me to understand the shame when you were treated as a criminal in the courts.
Help me to understand the pain you had when your flesh came out when hit with a thornful hunter.
Help me O! Lord to understand you when you were rejected by the people whom you healed and fed.
Help me undertand the crown of thorn on your head.
Help me to understand the heavy burden you took on your shoulders and walked with that cross.
Help me to understand the embarrasment of the nakedness.
Help me to understand the piercing pain of the nails on your hands and legs.
Help me to understand the humiliation you had on the cross.
Help me o!! Lord to understand the distancing dying pain from your loved ones.
Help me to understand the thirst when you were given vinegar.
Help me Lord to understand the feeling of loneliness you felt on the cross.
Help me to understand the pain the piercing of spear in your heart.
Help me lord to understand you on that Cross.
Help me Lord father to understand the CROSS.
Help me Lord to understand the opposition you went so that today, I never grow weary and lose heart.
Help me Lord to understand that I am so important for you... AMENLOVE

My Channa

2009-05-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

This is the poem I penned to acknowledge my feelings for my love and soon we got married, he became my husband, and today almost after two years I cherish the poem as freshly as I could do ever.

I just felt to write down something, what I have been feeling for the last few days.
The voice I experienced was so mesmerizing.
I hope it stays the way all through the bay.
Want to take a deceision , but fear a lot many fears.
I know I don't need to, but I am a human and I care for my dears.

I feel like going against the wind, only if you stay by my side
I feel like lighting the candle in the wind, only if you stand by my side.

LOVE

Apple Of His Eye.

2009-05-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

Last few months were really tough to live, there were times and still I have moments when I become dishearten and feel so low to leave all hopes, and yesterday I was feeling the same way despite being a believer.

Well we all are humans and we fluctuate emotionally, as in psalms we find the 'king David'. Certainly it’s not an excuse from my side but an honest confession, that despite being a follower of Christ and a positive thinker, a hopeful person how sometimes I am drowns by the desires of the flesh not in unconsciousness or subconsciousness but very much in a conscious mind. And how we do things which we don't want to do or how we become what we never want to and truly we become what we think we are not.

I heard an example by a resource person in one of the workshops of RZIM... that once he went to see a movie, and in the theatre while seeing the other posters he saw Amitabh Bachchan. He ran to him to take his autograph but as he came in front of him facing him from a distance of few inches he realized he is not Mr. Bachchan but an old school friend who used to be Mr. Bachchan's fan in school days and now after so many years the resource person realized how great fan he was. Mr. Bachchan was evident in his looks, behaviour, attitude, voice, dressing style and in every way. Well he was very happy to meet his old friend after so many years and that too suddenly with such a pleasant surprise. The moral he learnt from that is we become whom we follow at some point of time in our life and then we don't act but we are that.

All this time I used to think that my husband is such a negative thinker and I am a positive... because somewhere I used to measure his positivity with mine, but really I learnt a lesson yesterday as something happened (don't want to make it important by mentioning) where by God I was shown the statistics of not only my negativity but my mistakes of misunderstanding my husband. (Channa, I am really sorry.) The whole day I kept on asking God why it happened to me this way and softly he answered me this that 'I don't have to measure others with my knowledge or understanding.' I am so grateful to God that by his grace I chose Channa to be my husband who keeps me focused on my vision and my aim... though on many things we don't agree with each other but he encourages me to stick to what I believe in and his help to me is beyond my limit of understanding.

Today when I know two things that neither I am negative nor anyone else because when I think of someone else or myself as negative I call him\myself as the child of satan, because God is not negative but positive and I am a child of God and so as the other person. I am the apple of God's eye and so as others, and I am no one to find defects in God's pupil. I should be bewaring of it if I do so.

In the end I conclude that it’s been a few years that I have started following Christ in my life...and the journey is still on... I am still pressing on and running constantly the race I believe I will complete soon someday and I will be like Christ 'Positive'.

love

Simply Complicated

2009-04-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I don't seem to understand why normally we behave abnormally. Take for instant where and when we have to walk straight we swing, where we have to wait we bribe, where we have to work we cheat, where we have to see we become blind, where we have to hear we become deaf... and the most funny part is we judge others for the same thing that we always does.

For example... the most common statement I have often heard is “I have to pay the bribe, that’s how the work is done here, you keep quite, you don't understand. Please go and do your social work somewhere else." Lemme tell all those people who tell me this stuff and believe in getting the thing done never in the proper way but always by spinning. I feel paying bribe is almost equal to cleaning someone dirty ass and putting it on yourself. They may think that their work is done, but they actually add to their burden. One thing that I have personally witnessed is that, the thing that you get after cheating or bribing is actually good for nothing... it never flourishes, but becomes like a parasite which stays with you but , make you hollow each moment physically, economically, socially as well as spiritually. And how can we expect problem free flower after sowing a seed of problem. As an old phrase in hindi says 'Boaai paid babbool ka to aam kaha se huai!!'

We all know that 'SACH KI HAMESHA JEET HOTI HAI' and almost all the entertainment we have on television or anywhere tells the same thing repeatedly and fortunately we also know the difference between true and false but most of us love to choose and live in false truth and feel very very glad about it. Probably truth is an entertainment for us and nothing else anymore. The way to truth is very simple but we don't accept the fact of its simplicity... we want and believe it to be complicated and hence we waste no time in making every action of ours complicated and therefore false. Hold on take a deep breath and contemplate what we are doing. Why don't we make use of our common sense? Why common sense is so uncommon? When given an option of right and wrong why we always choose wrong. I remember the 'true and false' section in the examination paper ... if I choose the trues as falses and falses as trues... I am gone. I have to be very prudent and shrewd while answering and so I need to know the answer. This small exercise at school atleast teaches us not to choose something what I am not supposed to do.

All those people who keep cursing others of being irresponsible check out how much responsible we are.

All the people who get the things done by swinging or spinning are murderers and parasites of growing India. They want to send me somewhere else because they don’t want to live in a place where they can’t pay bribe and of course how can they because 'parasites' doest exists in a healthy place.

love

My Pain!!

2009-04-16T05:51:00.000-07:00

I am glad and grateful to God that many people share their faith based or spiritual testimonies with me. One reason I like to hear testimonials is that they give me a lot of strength to be more strong and faithful to God. People tell their testimonies in different ways; every one has got a unique way of telling things.

Some people make it so serious beginning with happy introduction, eventful story leading to a serious climax and a very very happy ending.

On the other hand some tells it in a comic style, though they talk serious sense yet it would be so light and jovial.

While others tell it with all logic, logic and logic (mostly doctors, scientists).

Yet others will tell with so much of adventure in that, with exposure of light and unbelievable things.

Still we have people left who tells in simple words which hardly interests anyone.

And yes those people who wash parts of their testimony with tears, they actually sob and cry so much that you can hardly understand the entire thing.

I am not at all criticising anyone one but just exploring so many ways of expression.

The common thing that we all do in the end of it is, we learn, praise and thank God for all that and move forward with faith and courage to face new challenges and trials. But hey!! Some of us we praise and thank God but do not learn or can say we don't move forward to fight and win new challenges, difficulties and trials. However better we would be but we keep planning to go back and love to stick around it somehow. And no doubt we keep facing the same problem and we get stuck in that. We get bored and tired of the same situations and in the end we complain against God and cry. Ultimately we stop giving testimonials.

Myself when I look back I remember what happened but I don’t feel the same intensity of pain as I felt it at that time for probably one or two years. My pet dog Timmy died, someone poisoned, post to its death whenever I would think of Timmy I would cry but after ten years I just remember it and don't even miss it around me anymore... Am I selfish I moved forward? Or Did God heal me?

I feel God healed me and I moved forward because that’s the way God wants me to live my life. He doesn't want me to sit and cry on my past and keep telling him and others 'see what I went through' instead He wants me to enjoy have fun, trust on him and feel secure and live life to the fullest. I got hurt a lot in my past probably not like others but I got hurt and I would have scratched it more if I would have stayed their looking at it all the time. I want to tell to all those who keep looking at their back and cry. Let me share with them that this sickens the people around them people like to share the pain but no one likes to live in it. Share and carry the pain and dump it somewhere where you can't reach again. Please don't carry the heavy painful baggage yourself and expect others to carry it for you.

love

Broken Me

2009-04-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

For the last few days I have been feeling broken in my spirit... as if nothing is working out. Things around me seems to be just so frozen and the very feeling of brokenness is breaking me more each day.

But somehow I was reminded by a darling friend of mine about the broken glass piece, and the first thought that came to my mind that "O!! my GodI should not feel broken because, broken things doesn't have any value for anyone and anything". But this very thought of mine was again wrong, and I landed in another broken and shatterd feeling. But hey!! this is not the end... this cann't be, because I believe that there is nothing in the world without a meaning then how could I be dishearted about it and its really true because when I looked through that broken piece of glass I saw beauty more beautifully. A broken piece of glass doesn't have any value, if its lying in dark but when a ray of light passes through it the perception for anything changes from an object to a beautiful object and it reflects so many beautiful colours.

Funny but then I understood when I am broken I don't have to sit in dark but help myself by letting the light pass through me, the light of God's spirit... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulnes, gentleness and self control. I want the light pass through me because I am important to no one but to the one who has created me and want me to enjoy my importance and worth to its fullest... even when I am broken.

love

Ting-Tong

2009-02-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

I have always been a great fan of Indian advertisements. I just love the way they are directed and created with such an appropriate humour. In fact I am looking forward to start a channel dedicated to advertisements, where we'll just talk about the advertisements and the entire crew who hardly get noticed in the making example, the technician, writers, logo dialogues etc.

Recently I came across an advertisement which caught my eyes, as it is well directed, very seriously illustrated and very sophisticated presented, but lacks a logical logo statement which makes it completely irrelevant to its reference to context. Its the advertisement of ‘morning after' i-Pill. Actually it ends with a logo statement which says 'Abortion say acha hai, pregnancy ko rokana.' the statement in itself is very true but when we apply it or understand it in reference to context to the contraceptive ( i-pill ) it loses all its relevancy and logicality. How??

Well what I know about it is... Firstly, embryo, though carried within the mother's body, is nevertheless not a part of it, is not only a Christian theological but a physiological fact. This is partly because the child has the genotype distinct from the mother's, but also the whole process of gestation from ovulation to birth, may be seen as a kind of 'expulsion' of the child with a view to its ultimate independence.

In 1960 the genetic code was unravelled, and now we know that the moment the ovum is fertilized by the penetration of the sperm, the 23 pairs of chromosomes are complete, the zygote has a unique genotype which is distinct from both the parents and the child sex, size and shape, colour of skin, hair and eyes, eye temperament and intelligence are already determined. Each human begins beings as a single fertilized cell, while an adult has about 30 million million cells. Besides these two points (fusion and maturity) 45 generations of cells division are necessary and 41 of them occur before birth.

The First international Conference on Abortion, meeting in 1967 in Washington DC, declared: 'We can find no point in time in between the union of sperm and egg and the birth of an infant at which point we can say that this is not a human life.'

Remembering all these facts that we have, I do not think but consider 'Morning After' Pill as a final method of abortion among the several others. If a woman has had intercourse without contraceptive and fears pregnancy she can be prescribed a 'morning after' pill to be taken within 72 hours of intercourse. This is a high -dose oestrogen pill that prevents implantation by disrupting the lining of the womb. Because this method is not covered by the Abortion Act the pill can be prescribed by a single doctor, even one's GP.

Well the only method to prevent pregnancy is abstinence, and this is a possible option as it leaves you with several other options to explore your love.

Few of my readers may consider me very conservative. Well!! Probably I am but I care for the ting heart who begins to beat at three to three and a half weeks and at four, though the foetus is only about a quarter of an inch long, the head and body are distinguishable, as are also rudimentary eyes, ears and mouth. At six or seven weeks brain function can be detected and at eight (the time most abortions begin to be performed) all the child's limb are apparent, including fingers, fingerprints and toes. At nine or ten weeks the baby can use his or her hands to grasp and his mouth to swallow, and can even suck his thumb. By 13 weeks, the completion of the first trimester, the embryo is completely organised, and a miniature baby lies in the mother's womb; the child can alter the position, respond to pain, noise and light, and can even get a fit of hiccups. From then onwards child merely develops in size and strength. By the end of fifth month and beginning of the sixth (before the tri-semester is complete, and while pregnancy is not yet two-third complete), the baby has hair, eyelashes, nails, and nipples, and can cry, grip, punch and kick )which sometimes after an abortion has been performed by hysterectomy, to the extreme distress of the medical team). So if I am opting for abortion, then let me make myself very clear that that’s not an option... my options would be what method I choose...

First method, the most common is vacuum aspiration, which is used in pregnancies upto 12-14 weeks. In this the cervix is dilated and a tube connected to a suction pump is inserted into the womb. The foetus is sucked from the womb and collected in a jar where body parts must be accounted for to ensure full removal.

Second method, older method is 'D and C', dilation and curettage. The cervix is dilated to facilitate the insertion of an implement, either a 'surette' with which the wall of the womb is scraped until the foetus is cut into pieces and removed, or in later pregnancies, sponge forceps and a plier-like instrument by which it is torn into pieces, In either case a violent and bloody dismemberment takes place.

Third method (employed between 12 and 16 weeks) is to inject atoxic (usually saline) solution by a long needle inserted through the mother's abdomen into the amniotic sac enveloping the foetus, which is thus poisoned, burned and killed, and then 'spontaneously' ejected. At later stage of pregnancy surgery is use, either a hysterectomy which resembles a Caesarean section or a complete hysterectomy by which womb and foetus are removed together and discarded together (this is rarely used).

Yet another method that is under debate because of the barbaric nature is, dilation and extraction (D and X) commonly called as 'partial birth abortion' in this the doctor inserts a pair of scissors into the base of the skull, followed by a suction catherer that removes the brain, causing the skull to collapse and facilitating the removal of now a dead baby.

Alternative to surgery in first few months of pregnancy is the use of the drugs RU 486 in conjunction with the prostaglandins, which facilitates the evacuation of the contents of the womb.

And final is 'morning after' pill.

Well I took a lot of help from various books which I generally keep on reading, to write down my findings... I hope my efforts won't be a waste for people who think of abortion.

I feel the solution to save a life is not Abortion but Abstinence. Its the only way... difficult but true.

'Pregnancy say acha hai, apne aap ko rokna'
love

Sophisticated Corruption

2009-02-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

21st Feb is the Happy Birthday of my dear and loving man, and as we both are alone at home we decided to celebrate it just with two of us... so I had this wonderful idea to bring cake and cut it at midnight and have fun. As per the plan we moved out in search of an eggless cake as my man is a pure veggie (doesn't eat eggs also).

We went to a shop near our home called 'Lemon & Cream', it’s a small sophisticated, metropolitan dhaba. A dhaba where mostly young students hang out. I was so excited about the whole plan unless I felt the shock of my life... my God what was that... I wondered, rubbed my eyes and started murmuring dirty things, suddenly in a low voice I was asked by my man not to do that. But the social instinct being a social worker was not ready for such a tragic.

Actually when I was moving around I saw the price tag of a small piece of pastry, the normal size which said Rs.35/- respectively (Kuch bhi, jo maan may aaya)

Now my anger is not that I can not afford that... happy birthdays come once in a year so we don't mind spending but my point is why should I pay such a huge amount for a small piece of pastry? I mean who is checking these guys to put the price tag?? If the shopkeeper wants me to fill his electricity bill I will gladly do that but why he is selling it for such a big amount??

I was all cursing the ship-owner, which is very logical too... but the answer is he is selling it in that rate because I am ready to buy it in that rate. And therefore I feel how much we are a part and parcel of this sophisticated corruption.

Come on guys we need to bargain over here, we should not be ready to buy things so expensive; we already pay so many taxes. I was just thinking the other day while filling the forms for the research work about the draft that I have to make to submit the entrance fee examination. The fee is around Rs.220/- per paper.

Usually what we will get at the seat, a third standard quality of question paper and inferior quality of answer sheet not more than five pages... what about the pen, rubber, pencil, scale, other items... SORRY!! We have to carry it all by ourselves. Bloody hell why we are paying the so called entrance examination fee?? I am sure there are many examples like this.

We don't mind paying... or probably we don't want to stand against it. I don't know why?? We feel angry when somebody comes and fool us, but what happening here these people are fooling us sophisticatedly without a receipt... and we are ready for it, in fact we feel very good about it.

But I want to stand and speak against all this where ever I will observe it happening or where ever I will go to give the entrance examination by paying fee. I know I will not get it, but I will speak and stand against it.

By the way we didn't get the cake but 500ml ice-cream to celebrate and have fun.

Happy Birthday to Channa!!
love

Borrowing To Be Parents

2009-02-19T02:19:00.000-08:00

For the last couple of years I have been hearing a lot about "Surrogacy", every now and then. Well first, I didn't understand it but now when the Lok Sabha is looking forward to pass the bill, legalising it I think I have a fair idea what actually it is… physically, economically and socially.

Firstly, to start with physical aspects, it happens when the wife's womb has been damaged so that she cannot bear her own child. In this case the sperm and her egg could through medical advancement namely IVF and ET be inserted into another woman, who would carry and in due course give birth to their child and then surrender him or her to them, the genetic parents. This could be womb donation, which is commonly known as 'surrogate motherhood'. Usually when one of the partners is infertile the couple go for surrogacy… by donating either the sperm or egg or embryo. Its a bit difficult for me to take as babies are born in laboratories on china clay dish similarly as it happens in test tube babies.

Secondly, the economics involved in this is too high as not only the mother female who is carrying the child is benefited with a huge amount, but the doctors make a fantastic business for themselves. And hereby develops a demand and supply economy of womb, sperm, egg, and embryo.

Thirdly, socially it has the maximum affects, as the first thing which it affects harmfully is 'Marriage'. Marriage is a permanent covenant between one man and one woman, which demands uncompromising faithfulness. But all forms of donation introduce the third party (donor), which break this covenant. Yes, it doesn’t happen through sexual intercourse but even the donation has happened externally… is it entirely free from the taint of adultery…? Well to be true, I think it is adultery.

There are many issues related to surrogacy which we can talk and discuss like right of unborn child, ethics in medicine and research… so many but what I want to discuss over here is the exploitation of a woman for the womb for achieving the child of their own blood or God knows for what technological reason.
Why not the couple who cannot have kids go for fostering or adoption?? We are also adopted by GOD in His family.

Also I never understand why a woman feels if she can’t give birth she is not a “complete woman". All filmy dialogues of 'MAA' start from here… 'Maa banna ek aurat ka sabse bada ehsaas hota hai', 'mai MAA banney wali hu', etc., Giving birth doesn’t makes me either a woman or a mother. I am a woman in fact I am a beautiful woman because I have been made so and I am a mother because I mother a child not because I give birth… of course it is a beautiful experience, I don't deny that but that doesn’t complete my identity or me as a human… so what if few women doesn't have that… how does it matter?? What difference it makes?? It stand same for all the men and women who think so and desperately want a child from their own sperm or egg. Couples who think this way I want to call them Gollum (the ugliest character in 'the Lord Of The Rings') who keeps saying "my precious, my own” in the most horrifying voice he could say.

It’s so contradictory; you borrow in order to call it 'my precious, my own'.

So couples don't be Gollum think about fostering or adoption, because that’s a better option.

I remember a beautiful song which sings…

One talent have I
To take to the sky
While some of the rest
Have ten of the best.
Why should I complain
From duty refrain?
No, never!! No, never!
Not I
love

Divine Intervention

2009-02-15T23:35:00.000-08:00

In the world that we live in we don't have time to think about the illogical things that goes around us, but the fact is we spend or rather say dedicate most of the time of our life to deal with the unnecessary and illogical matters this world. Usually when we are upset or are dealing with a tuff situation in our lives, two things happen. One, we lean on, two we lean off. Presently I am going through a difficult time (thanks to recession) and being a believer I was trying to remind God about the promises that God has made to me about a prosperous, joyful and abundant life and get frustrated each day as the promise are not fulfilling.

Now hold on to my conversation here.

Punita: God you promised me a prosperous, joyful and abundant life... what happened to that?
God: Yes I know, but I didn't promised you, that you will never face any troubles and trails.
Punita: Now that’s a very smart God… aren't you?
God: I am who I am.
Punita: So you fooled me...?????
God: Do you think so?
Punita: Don't know... can’t say... but seems so… well feel so!!
God: So you feel what you don't know?
Punita: Come on give me a break man… don't try to twist me in words.
God: Am I? OK.
Punita: But I haven’t got the answer…
God: Look for the promises that I haven't fulfilled.
Punita: Why to go so far... look at the promise that I am talking to you about…
God: Yes, I never promised you that you will never face any troubles and trails, but I promised you that in times of difficulty, when the world will be against you… I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Punita: You mean that you are with me?
God: Yes.
Punita: Then why are things not moving?
God: They are.
Punita: Why can’t I see things happening?
God: Did you sleep well yesterday?
Punita: O! Jesus!! What are you talking about…? I am asking you something.
God: How was your sleep?
Punita: OK!! I really had a wonderful, safe and sound sleep...anything else??
God: How do you know that?
Punita: Christ… now you are getting on my nerves... ok!! When I got up in the morning I was fresh and felt I really rested well.
God: So you realized it in the morning when you got up fresh, not while sleeping.
Punita: What a silly thought… how can I realize it while sleeping?
God: Are you sure you can’t?
Punita: Why are you asking me this… as if you don't know?
God: Yes I know.
Punita: I return to my question… why can’t I see things happening?
God: Well just now you told it.
Punita: When...? my God you are a nutshell...

With this we just lean off… or probably we never leaned on him...but whatever I am assured He will never leave me or forsake me… Times come in our life where we can’t do anything with our own ability. No good deed of ours can reduce our troubles, but what we do in times like this, do we lean on or lean off?? In both he situations God is with us, but we have to allow him to work on us..if we allow him to work on us, we are leaning on him and if we do not He won't interfere because He respect our choices. The divine intervention is always safe and secured, and the fact is we all need it someday or the other whether we like it or not. A tree will die if it is detached from its roots. The source of our lives is neither with us nor in any human deed. Our source is waiting for us to lean on him. The choice is ours.

love